Now or Never
by CrystalFlowers
Summary: Casey has a hard decision to make about a certain someone who is always on her mind. He has this nasty little habit of always slipping into her mind, and she's tired of these thoughts consuming her life. What will Casey do? Rated K


**Hi everyone! I finally got to write a story after months and months of school. There is only 8 more full days of school left! :D I'm pretty excited for summer! **

**So this story is in Casey's pov and I don't think its really that good, and is kinda short.**

**Inspiration: Its raining right now at my house. And its really scary. **

**Enjoy!~**

It was raining outside, the sound of it resonating through out the room where I, Casey McDonald, sat. The relentless storm shook the tree outside, causing the tree branches to scratch the window in an annoying way. I sat on my bed, my back resting against the headboard. I was writing in my diary, but soon got distracted. After an hour of day dreaming, I looked down at my paper and saw that the margins were covered in hearts and stars, each containing a letter inside, making the word "Derek".

I groaned and threw the book on the wall opposite of her. No matter how I tried, he always has a way of slipping into my mind. I didn't know what to do. I was tired of him always in my head. I couldn't think about him all my life, I had to either forget about him or confront him. I began to think of ways on how to confront him. 'Derek, I love you' didn't seem like the way to go, and neither did 'We need to talk'. I might as well tell him that I wear underwear with Barney printed all over it: I'm pretty sure he'll believe me then, and that sounds more amusing anyway.

My window lighted up, followed by the loud clap of thunder. I jumped at the sudden noise. Mom and George went to a dinner party, so it was just us kids at home. I got up from bed, listening to the familiar creaks my bed makes, and wander over to wear I threw my diary. I need to vent my feelings and thoughts, and since there is no one worthy of knowing my deepest darkest secrets (except Lizzie, but she's asleep), my diary seemed to be my most trustworthy friend.

I flip through the pages underneath my lamplight, smiling at the happy memories and tearing up at the sad parts. I never realized my life was filled with so much drama. I wouldn't be surprised if my life became a soap opera. I flipped to the page where I began to write before, and continued to write. After an hour of writing, I read over what I wrote:

_Dear Diary,_

_I need to forget about him, which seems, unfortunately, impossible. Every single thing reminds me of him. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever forget about him. Will I continue to live my life the way it is? I want to keep going with my life and not stop for just one boy who seems to have a lot of influence in my life. Life is journey, a continuous road where there aren't are any stop signs. Even after my life is over, I will still have a part of me living in my kids. One guy, who seems to occupy my mind now, cannot occupy my mind for the rest of my life. Either I forget about him or I get the nerve up to talk to him. I can't do either. I know I can't live without him, but at the same time I can't tell him how I feel about him. He'll probably think that I'm crazy, and then where am I left at? My heart will break into a million pieces, and no one will be there to help me pick them up. I am a pretty vase that is dropped and pieces of me fly all over the place. He won't pick them up though, I know it. That's what he does with all the girls: he makes them feel special and tells them he loves her, and then he stomps all over her, cracking and shattering under all the pressure. I don't understand why he does this, but what confuses me more is why I love him._

_-Casey_

Satisfied, I snap my book close and hide it under my pillow. I snuggle under the covers, as the sky outside grows darker and the wind picks up. The clouds constantly grumble, as if agreeing with my diary entry. I feel depressed and sad, the weathering dampening my mood even more. But not only am I depressed, I am frustrated. My mind is whirling around the thought of Derek. Lightning strikes in the sky light up my room, followed by angry thunder, a gust of wind shrieking and rain pounding my windows as if it wants to come in. 'Its now or never,' I think to myself, as I fall in a dreamless slumber.

**Yes, there will be more chapters up, I don't know when though...maybe tomorrow? If I don't have homework...fingers crossed! **

**Please review! It will make me soo happy :D thanks!**


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